Image by Paolo Valdemarin
Before we ever met in person, a friend who I first met online said something that left me in shock, laughter and in a state of humbleness all at the same time. He told me that he’s read some of the articles that I’ve written and the types of things I post on social media. As he got to know me better, he mentioned how surprised he was in regards to the way I am in person. He was surprised at my clumsiness and forgetfulness. He was surprised at the questions I asked and the things I often wondered about. He said he thought I was one of those people that always had all of their shit together. One of those people who really had it all figured out.
I searched his expression to see if he was joking. He wasn’t.
A wave of surprise washed over me. Followed by a break out in laughter. Me? Have it all figured out? Come again? Once my immediate shock subsided, it got me thinking about the way in which we view other people, the assumptions that we make, and the conclusions that we draw — especially about the people we’ve never met in person. In this day and age, we associate many of the people we know with their on-screen persona. This happens through edited and selected moments, thoughts, and experiences that people choose to share publicly.
Although there are people who are quite transparent, a lot of us usually post the “good” things. We share our accomplishments and achievements and those oh-so-glorious a-ha moments. Most of the moments I share are when I’m deeply moved and inspired. I share thoughts and ideas about self-love and self-inquiry. I share insights about how we can move towards harmony throughout our own individual experience.
What I don’t share nearly as often are the moments of confusion and the moments of struggle — the moments where my heart aches and the ground below feels shaky. What I hadn’t realized until that conversation with my friend is that I have done the same thing: I’ve put people that I only know online on a pedestal.